What if a man tells you to lose 15 pounds because you're hot but you can be hotter like how do you respond to that...
I started down this wormhole reviewing his book, something to do while quarantining in a 3rd wave pandemic.
I knew David and his wife Donna when they were actively recruiting, hunting is a better word, for the Ashram. They abandoned their child to do this. As narcissists, they had little to offer to relationships, it was all about emotional seduction of those folks, mostly women because David had charisma to burn, who were lonely and in transition, extracting their money for the cult, pay to play spirituality. At 6’6’ he had a large penis so there were those that craved the promise of sexual excitement and he used that seduction technique as well, anything to get the cash. Donna was voluptuous in her sari and used feigned affection and empathy to seduce the lonely heartbroken men.
All cults are abusive because they put you down: only if you take the $8.000.00 yoga development course will you 'evolve'. Because you are undeveloped you loser. The spiritual version of ‘What if a man tells you to lose 15 pounds because you are hot but you can be hotter, like how do you respond to that...’ a tweet I saw recently. Well, if you are a spiritually battered woman/man you tend to forgive and pay up. Stockholm syndrome. Albert Ellis in his paper ‘The Case Against Religion’ talks about this kind of masochism: “Masochism, indeed, stems from an individual deliberately inflicting pain on himself in order that he may guiltlessly permit himself to experience some kind of sexual or other pleasure; and the very essence of most organized religions is the performance of masochistic, guilt-soothing rituals, by which the religious individual gives himself permission to enjoy life.”
The Ashram is worth millions built with free labour that people paid to donate. Some of it mine.
When Donna's degenerative disease demanded a full-time caregiver, David used his charm to enmesh a young woman from the student body and they departed the Ashram. So I was told by other Ashram residents and that was the last I heard of my friend, mentor, spiritual advisor, cult recruiter used car salesman. Totally dumped. As well as dumped by the Ashram as it turned out, as I had run out of money. Overvalue, undervalue, dump, smear as I learned from Dr. Tara. The narcissists m.o. This is devastating as I discovered when I was looking for support during a life crisis from those at the Ashram and I had no money left. I found it at the hospital, for free, here in Canada, and they really like it when you don’t come back and are cured.
Devastated, I sought treatment for extreme anxiety and despair from the family therapist and so entered my deprogramming with the help of therapists at the hospital. “Cult victims and those who have suffered abusive relationships often suffer from fear, confusion, low self-esteem, and post-traumatic stress. This title explains the seductive draw that leads people into such situations, provides guidelines for assessing what happened, and tools for getting back on track.” Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults & Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich.
So back on track, I went to art school, another kind of rights of passage religion with its temple of the exhibition space and earned some credentials and a career as a teacher. I learned to accept myself unconditionally through the REBT they showed me at the hospital and eventually got well, no longer as subject to victimization. Ask for what you want, charming narcissists with nothing to give dump you and smear, but healthy people have a frank conversation and willingness to compromise. A ten-year journey of recovery shedding parasitic relationships and making nicer friends.
So I googled David Forcee today, 20 years later, wondering what happened to him, my recruiter, and here is the story of his suicide by doctor, in the Walrus, showing like any narcissist it’s all about him, dumping the world, always the victim, with not even a kind word for those who cared for him, a staged production till the bitter end. Better suicide than an existence like being trapped in a car, looking bad, a disability case. He really hated himself. All suicide is depression gone untreated. We are all in a terminal painful situation, healthy folks ignore it and focus on satisfactions like giving love.
So what do I feel about the demise of this man I once felt much love for? Manipulated, lied to, conned. Even his final story is a manipulation to be all about him and a deflection to avoid that he had no legacy, nothing left behind to nurture others. Just a book with a 1-star rating because there is nothing lower than 1 star.
He abused as all narcissists do by saying all the right things to make a friend but he lied then left when he got bored. In this case, his wife with a degenerative disease needing a caregiver was a drag.
So he lied for a living to vulnerable people in transition to get their money. He abused them by saying they were broken, undeveloped, not mindful using his powerful charismatic personality to convince them, like any used car salesman, with feigned empathy, that they were losers. The money poured into the Ashram, temples were built, countless devotees were harmed, their bank accounts raped.
Every once in a while the monster would appear, we were in the barn, city folks there for the weekend, trying to put a milking machine on a cow who was having none of it, she was not restrained properly. David simply came along, grabbed a 2x4 and hit the cow as hard as he could. The end justified the means, like the psychopath stealing an elder’s purse because he ‘needed’ it.
He was called Gopal (cow herder) ananda (bliss). He found his bliss conning money from the humanity no better than cattle in his mind and actions, a typical yoga teacher, he used students, bank accounts raped, then abused to be taken advantage of rinse repeat until they are sucked dry.
A building at the ashram that was built under David Forcee later burned down due to poor quality construction.